Pure love has been described as different feelings. Some as Cinderella and the prince, while some believe it’s a myth. In other words, pure love isn’t real and can only be found in fairytales.
Before we decide if pure love is real or a myth, what exactly is Pure love?
Defining pure love could be tricky since it means different things to different folks. However, the most common definition of pure love is an emotional feeling that is unbiased, unselfish and has fewer expectations.
Pure love, which can also be referred to as true or real love, can be traced to divine love – God’s love for humanity. In fact, God’s love is said to be the purest love that is in existence.
Thus, pure love isn’t a myth. Maybe that is why it’s also referred to as “real love.”
Although humans might not be able to love exactly like divine love, we can still find a resemblance of such love in today’s relationships.
What is the purest kind of love?
The purest form of love is unconditional love. This means loving someone without strict demands.
It is a love that isn’t based on what you can offer in return. Instead, it seeks mainly for your happiness and growth.
In the case of a relationship, unconditional love doesn’t wither nor fade even in challenging times.
Have you ever seen an old couple that, despite one partner’s health challenge, still glow in love?
That is how unconditional love operates. It doesn’t consider any mishap as a reason to stop loving.
A popular display of unconditional love is a mother’s love for her baby. Her love is so selfless that she could go to the farthest part of the earth to make her child happy.
Despite the baby tantrum, a mother’s anger never extends to not providing for her child.
It is essential to know that unconditional love isn’t only manifested between a couple or parent to child. You can also love yourself unconditionally.
Loving yourself unconditionally means loving yourself without self-criticism. It means loving yourself despite your flaws.
Qualities of true love in a relationship
Have you ever wondered what makes love different from true love? Why is the latter highly valued than the former?
Although they both have the similarities of being called “love, ” their qualities differ.
Thus, what makes true love highly valued is its distinguishing traits.
Here are five unique qualities of true love:
True love makes you feel secure. You are not scared that you will bring about destructive criticism. You feel free to express yourself always.
It creates a safe space to be vulnerable and not taken advantage of. Your vulnerability is never seen as a weakness but rather as an expression of your human nature.
The best part about true love is that it accepts you the way you are. It doesn’t aim to change your personality or satisfy an ego.
Compromise is a vital quality of true love. In every true love journey, both partners must have given up something for the other to be happy.
The happiness of the other is always sought after. So compromising a little bit is never a big deal.
Also, the act of compromise isn’t done by one party in the relationship. Instead, both parties compromised to meet a common ground because of real love.
The reason why this is possible is that there is room for flexibility in decision-making.
Improves well being
It improves your emotional and physical health.
An emotionally balanced life influences your overall well-being. For instance, a person in an abusive relationship will most likely have poor input in their work.
This happens because such a person can’t help but think about the subsequent possible violence they will receive from the partner.
However, if the reverse should be the case, there will be excellent input in work.
True love promotes a healthy relationship that seeks only the best for the parties involved.
It takes advantage of every opportunity that supports your growth. Since it’s a selfless kind of love, your personal development is very paramount.
Being supportive could mean helping your partner complete a project or offering a massage after a stressful day at the office.
It is basically doing anything within your power to see that your significant other dream is actualized.
Communicating clearly means honestly expressing your stance and feelings about a particular issue or topic.
Real love promotes resolving conflict through communicating your feeling without pointing fingers or claims of who is right or wrong.
It advocates for honest sharing of thoughts and not suppressing your feelings, just not to hurt your partner’s feelings.
Also, to achieve clear communication, you must first listen empathically to what your partner has to say.
What does pure love mean in a relationship?
Pure love in a relationship means loving your partner unconditionally. Your love shouldn’t be based on conditions that satisfy your ego.
Although the word “pure” means free of flaws or imperfection, pure love doesn’t operate like that.
It acknowledges your flaws and still choose to accept them.
When you love someone purely, you accept them for who they are and not the potential benefits you stand to gain.
The potency of true love is tested by time. Simply put, true love doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey that has its ups and downs.
In fact, couples genuinely in love didn’t “fall in love”; rather, they “grew in love.” The keyword here is “growth.” In every romantic relationship, the place of growth can’t be overemphasized. Building firm trust and respect between couples takes years, and that is the foundation of every real love.
Also, true love isn’t just a feeling of affection. It’s a decision to love for the sake of loving. If true love is based on feelings, it can be easily swayed by emotions like anger, jealousy, envy, and pride.
But since it’s built on a firm conviction, it can’t be swayed by mere emotions.
10 ways to Identify pure love in a relationship
1. Pure love doesn’t criticize
A healthy relationship where both partners truly love each other and don’t have room for negative criticism. They do not engage in discussions that make the other feel less of themselves or downcast.
Every human has its flaws, but pure love recognizes these and corrects these mistakes with love.
This is why knowing your apology/correctional language is essential. Apology or corrective language means the way you want to be corrected or apologized to by your partner.
Real love acknowledges these things and chooses to correct their partner in the right way.
2. It isn’t dependent only on physical attraction
Yes, there needs to be an attraction before loving a person. But when your love is dependent on only the physique, then that isn’t true love.
True love goes beyond appeasing the eye.
It is not just loving the little thing that makes up who they are but loving someone because you just can’t help it.
There isn’t a precise reason why you love that person.
Since pure love never fades nor withers, there is no way it can be dependent on the physique that fades off with time.
3. Expresses gratitude
If your partner loves you truly, they will always be grateful for having you in their life. Little things like throwing out the trash or running water for the kids are highly appreciated.
True love never gets tired of saying the words “Thank you.” In fact, these words should never far fetch.
Additionally, practicing gratitude has both mental and physical benefits. It also boosts your partner’s morale.
4. Shows interest in your development
Another factor in identifying real love is expressing interest in your partner’s personal development. This development could range from business goals, body goals, or dropping a habit.
The show of interest signifies that you are concerned about their well-being.
The point here is to be observant and offer assistance. Such a thoughtful gesture makes your significant other feel special because you just made their life easier.
Remember, unconditional love is a love that doesn’t have strict demands. The same applies to true love.
Pure love doesn’t aim to be at the receiving side but rather at the giving side. Its first thought is what to do to make the other person happy.
When your partner truly loves you, they don’t force their decisions or opinion on you. Rather they will look for a common ground that can accommodate both views. And in cases where common grounds can’t be met, they will be willing to let go of their stance to see the other happy.
The watchword of pure love is putting their lover’s desires before theirs.
True love doesn’t mean accepting your mistakes without making efforts to change. You own to your mistakes and make amends.
If it requires you to change some bad old habits, by all means, do it. In case you can’t do it alone, see for professional help.
Real love means taking responsibility for your actions.
Being accountable could also mean holding your partner responsible when they mess up.
It is pertinent to know that admitting wrong could sometimes be difficult because you bring your vulnerability to bear.
7. Respects boundaries
Respecting boundaries means acknowledging that your partner needs space and personal time that does not include you.
Unfortunately, true love has been misinterpreted as being clingy to your partner.
Real love respects boundaries. It recognizes that your partner needs private time to reflect on his/her life-their work, friendship, or creative pursuit. Craving this space doesn’t make your partner love you less.
Also, true love encourages their partner to care for themselves while offering support.
8. Learns how to love you better
The only person that expertly knows your love language is… You. Your partner is only human and can’t know all your desires. You need to engage in conversations that provide information on how you want to be loved better.
If your partner makes an effort to start such a conversation, you must know that he/ she is the true love of your life.
Note that the first step to achieving this is first having the conversation and then practicalizing the discussion.
One of the outstanding qualities of true love is being supportive, especially during challenging times. Pure love makes you reassure your partner that everything will get sorted out and that you will always be there regardless of the outcome.
You could show support by listening emphatically, offering your assistance, or making sacrifices for their benefit.
True love supports mutual sacrifice and understanding.
10. Genuinely proud of you
When you truly love someone, you are genuinely proud of who they are and always ready to show off at any opportunity.
A clear indication of true love is celebrating your partner’s wins even at your loss. You consider their wins or loss as yours.
Your partner won’t find his/herself competing to always be on top. Youwill see yourselves as partners that have equal rights.