Do you often find yourself thinking of how you can take the hand of the clock back and correct one particular mistake you made? Or do you find yourself wishing that what had happened in the past didn’t happen?
Well, don’t beat yourself too much. Every human had once upon a time made a mistake that they regret, even the most successful people also had the same experience in the past.
Now that you know that someone somewhere must have felt the same way you feel about your past, I know you feel a little bit better for a few seconds.
But after a few seconds, what are you left with? Regret? Disappointment? Guilt? You are left with these feelings because you are still holding on to the past.
Based on my experience, I know it can be hard to let go of the past and embrace the new. That it’s hard doesn’t make it impossible.
Yes, I know you have the ability to let go of these negative feelings and embrace the new future that awaits you. This new future might be scary because of its uncertainty. But the moment you decide to embrace the new, you will have the excitement a color-blind person has when given an EnChroma glasses. You will be able to see clearly what you have been missing out on.
Here are five tips that will help you let go and embrace the new:
1. Forgive the “old”
Sometimes the reason why you are resistant to letting go could be because of your inability to either forgive yourself or forgive whoever hurt you in the past.
Unforgiveness causes you the most pain because the grudge you are holding onto is living in a rent-free space in your heart.
Forgiveness isn’t as hard as you see it. You just need to make that conscious decision to forgive. Once you make that conscious decision, you should take practical steps to achieve this.
If you are trying to forgive yourself, you can start by writing a letter to your old self, highlighting all the things that hurt you the most and how you are going to work towards stopping them.
Moreover, research has now shown that writing about “what hurts” can help improve your mental health.
After writing the letter, read it when you are calm and then let go of the letter. By letting go of the letter, you are forgiving your former self and you are ready to make it right with the present.
2. Learn from the past
This statement might sound cliche to you because you might have heard it so many times.
But, the importance of learning from the past can never be overemphasized. You might also be wondering what you can learn from a place of pain, distress, and disappointment?
Well, there is certainly something, even if it’s just one lesson that you can learn from every experience.
For instance, in one of my failed relationships, I learned the importance of effective communication. Although I was terribly hurt at how the relationship ended, I was able to discover that there was a relapse in communication between both of us.
With this experience gained knowledge, I sure won’t be getting into a new relationship with a slacked communication skill.
So you see that there is always something to learn no matter how hurtful the situation might have been.
If you can’t find anything to learn from the event, ask a close friend to evaluate it and you would be surprised at the result.
3. Release yourself from the pain
Another reason why you might still be holding on to the past could be that you are holding on to the pain for whatever reason.
In a relationship scenario, you might be holding on to the pain of heartbreak because you still have feelings for your ex-partner. In this case, you have to let go of the pain even if it requires you to cut off communication with that person. You could send a text message to the person explaining why you need to cut tiers to help your healing process.
Sincerely holding on to this pain will harm your mental health. So do yourself a big favor and gradually free yourself from the pain.
I used the word gradually because this is not an instantaneous act, rather It’s a step-by-step process that requires you to be kind to yourself.
4. Occupy your mind
This technique really worked a great deal for me after my relationship ended. During that period, I drowned myself in work.
I did this to preoccupy my mind with a work-related matter. When your mind is empty, you might find yourself thinking and dwelling on the thought of the past. Of course, this is not good for your healing process.
You need to learn to occupy your mind with positive thoughts to hasten your healing process. What worked best for me was work, yours might be reading a book or listening to a podcast.
Make sure you occupy your mind with positive content. Additionally, don’t practice this technique as a form of denial. That is, occupying your mind with thoughts that the past event never happened. Doing this, means you are living in denial.
The purpose of this practice is to accept your past and not focus on “what was” but on “what is” (the present).
5. Embrace the new
After accepting and learning from your past, you need to create the best experience and you can only achieve that when you embrace the new.
Embracing the new means welcoming your future and letting go of the past.
As earlier said, the future might be scary because of its uncertainty but where is the fun in life if you already know all there is to it.
There are a lot of people out there wanting to meet and know you. There are also opportunities out there that you deserve, so don’t sit down and dine with regrets, MOVE FORWARD.
You are a shining light, go and illuminate the world.